Gayday

Today we are experiencing an influx of homosexual relatives, with a visit from my gay uncle and my lesbian third cousin, who have only met each other once previously at my parent's wedding, but got along famously well on that one occasion.
Cue appalling suggestions from my Dad that they share the spare room bed, turn straight and then run away together, which seems somehow unlikely. Also, my uncle keeps reciting 'lesbian limericks,' which I think is preparation for her arriving later this evening. My Dad has now gone on a business trip, which hopefully means an end to the suggestive and inappropriate comments, although not the limericks.
Having not been around at the time of my parent's wedding, I have absolutely no idea what craziness will ensue when the gay relatives meet. I do not know if the house can cope with so much awesome contained in one building, or how many gay pop culture references I can resist making.
Also, at the fireworks last night, it was very muddy and two men fell on me. When I told my uncle this, he said: "I wish that would happen to me."