Friday, 25 February 2011

Da da da da, da da da da, there's nothing like Austraaaalia

Hello people who are 11 hours in the past. Please insert witty Doctor Who/ Back To The Future reference in here. I couldn't think of one witty enough.

So. I am in Australia, typing very quietly, because I am babysitting, and one of them just woke the other up and I had to go and get milk and read bedtime stories half way through the blog post.

Things I have done so far that are not normally part of my daily routine:

1. Eaten about five small meals a day rather than two large ones.
2. Eaten lychees.
3. Worn brown canvas trousers (with flip flops, and I spent the whole day thinking "I saw Cady Haron wearing army pants and flip flops, so I wore army pants and flip flops.")
4. Not worn any make-up at all in nearly two weeks despite going places every day
5. Fainted in the middle of a Melbourne law firm for no apparent reason, alarming an Australian woman called Margaret.
6. Been visited in the night by a three year old who then fell asleep in the bed next to me, and held on to me like a teddy bear for three hours.
7. Seen a huntsman spider.
8. Attended a primary school barbecue.
9. Travelled around on a tram by myself.
10. Eaten takeaway pizza with three lesbians and two gay men.

I also saw some bats. Many bats. Black bats.

Next Thursday I am off Conservation Volunteering. Little bit scared but I rang the people and they seem to have a plan for what I'm doing, which is subject to change, but at least they know who I am and won't be confused when I show up.

It's the middle of summer here, which is weird. And they do have cheddar cheese, that was a myth I heard.

All I can think of for now, better sneak away before the kids wake up. Not sure when I'll next blog, but I'll be on facebook/email-able until Friday (or, Thursday, in UK time)

I love everyone in St. Albans (with the exception of people I don't know/ like, but if you know who I am then I probably love you or at least like you a bit.)

Saturday, 12 February 2011

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go. The rest of the song isn't really relevant, because I do know when I'll be back again, I don't intend to bring a wedding ring home, and 'so lonesome I could die' is a slight exaggeration.

The vast majority of my goodbyes are already done. I said bye to Jack last week, Laura and Jane came round for a very enjoyable nine and a half hours of Indiana Jones and compulsive eating yesterday, and today I have been making the rounds of the neighbours. It's been a bit of a whirlwind of packing, skyping, hugging and phone calls.

I can't quite believe I'm going to Australia tomorrow. I'm really going to miss everyone, and I am dreading the moment tomorrow when I say goodbye to my parents at security, but I'm also, obviously, excited. Feeling a little bit like this:

But also a little bit like it's my first day of school tomorrow, but a really big, far away school with kangaroos.

I will keep in touch as much as I possibly can, whenever I have internet access. Oh my God I am going to Australia tomorrow. Except not right now; right now I am going to go and eat dinner with my parents.

Goodbye Everyone And I Love You All. See you in August (although I'll blog lots before then obviously).

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Valentine's Day

As some people already know, due to an anomaly in the space-time continuum I am not going to have Valentine's Day this year. I fly at around midday (note to self: actually look up flight time) on February 13th, arriving in Australia twenty four hours later. This is midday on February 14th in UK time, but Australia is 12 hours ahead, so it will already be midnight, and Valentine's Day will be over.

This of course poses an enormous problem. Where will my hordes of secret admirers send their cards/flowers/chocolate/large sums of money? I mean, I usually spend every 14th of February sorting through thousands of letters from my adoring fans. Last year they actually had to close the Post Office because every single letter and package that came through was addressed to me. If I'm on a plane travelling very fast I don't know how this will work. I forsee Royal Mail strikes, police riots and general chaos.

...or, alternately, it will actually be the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. I usually celebrate Valentine's Day about as much as I celebrate Ramadan, but I get to go and see my boyfriend, Australia, although he has a bad case of Cyclone Yasi at the moment. And hey, maybe they'll show Rom Coms on the plane.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

The Triplet

This happened in my house today:

Me: Do I have a secret triplet I don’t know about?

Mum: When I first saw the scan I thought you might be triplets.

Me: What would you have named the triplet? It would have to be a four-letter one syllable word.

Mum: Oh dear.

Me: Not a swear word! Not like Jack, Anne and Fuck.

Cue my mother and I laughing hysterically on the landing for about five minutes, while she's putting her laundry into a basket and I'm struggling to hold onto my laptop, a pile of clean clothes and a bank statement.

Poor Fuck, he gets so forgotten amongst his siblings. I like to think that nobody pays attention to him because I'm the girl and Jack's the disabled boy and he's just 'the other one.' You know that short guy you saw wandering around school with dark hair and a very forgettable face? Yeah, that was him. He lives in our garden shed because he's painfully shy of strangers, and only joins us for meals once a year, on our birthday.

It's true, I swear. There were two whole minutes unaccounted for between Jack and I being born; plenty of time for another one.

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Oh Score.

New blog post, because the one I wrote instead of this one was about nothing, and I just found out something pretty cool.

Deathly Hallows Part 2 release date in UK? 15th July

Deathly Hallows Part 2 release date in Australia? 14th July.*

Right. That is it. I am really looking forward to this film, and I don't think I can sit around in the UK waiting for a whole extra day. There is only one thing for it; I will have to go to Australia. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the final Harry Potter film after all, and I can't bear the thought of those Australians seeing it 24 hours ahead. (And Australia is already 12 hours ahead, which makes my brain hurt, but I think that means they actually see it even earlier. I think. Hmm, I don't know.)

I think I'll go next Sunday, just to make sure I get a really good seat, because you can never arrive at the cinema too early. That'll give me five months to buy popcorn and possibly even have a little browse around the cinema foyer if I'm lucky. I could of course go to France, where the release date is 13th July, but unfortunately I would need to become completely fluent in the language. Conveniently, they speak English in Australia, although for all I know the film could be dubbed with Hugh Jackman, the little boy from Round The Twist, and Nicole Kidman as Harry, Ron and Hermione respectively, and with Geoffrey Rush as Dumbledore, and Tim Minchin as Voldemort.

Better pack a bag or something.

* There is no possible logical explanation for the Australian release date being earlier than the UK one other than that Warner Bros know about me, and love me very much.