Things I Have Learnt...

...From Drama

1. Never under any circumstances should anyone be named 'Abigail.' If your name is Abigail and for some reason you are reading my blog, I am sorry, this is an in-joke.

2. It's not the week before the performance unless at least half of the group has cried.

3. Tension cake is to be served at room temperature, and should be cut with great care and very sharp knives.

4. It's not tension cake if it has Twelfth Night quotes written on it, then it's just cake.

5. The Drama teachers' personalities should correspond as closely as possible with Lysistrata, Calonice and Lampito.

6. The most important parts of rehearsals are when people of very different heights are tied up and made to fight one another, and singing 'My Heart Will Go On' at inappropriate moments.

7. Flocking is the most important part of Drama ever. There is going to be a feature film, starring Jude Law as the Leader of the Flock.

8. The bell signalling the start of Drama is called a 'knell.' This is an official term.

9. You must always listen to each other physically.

10. 'Probably Nicola and the Occasional Room-mate' is an ideal name for a band.

11. There is no such thing as an ordinary assembly. There is only a Frantic Assembly.

12. The main character of Pool (No Water) is not called 'Paul O'Water.'

13. It is physically impossible to eat 45 Wispas in 24 hours, so don't even try.

14. "She's here!"

15. And lastly, but most importantly, Shakespeare had an earring. This is really the only fact that will be necessary.