Justifying Wasting Time

So I've been spending a lot of time recently watching documentaries about people. I'm not sure if I am wasting my time or whether I am actually learning a lot about the world and preparing myself for leaving home and meeting people who are not my family or from this town.

Naturally, I still have standards regarding what documentaries I watch. I've watched all the BBC documentaries that look interesting under the 'family and relationships' and 'lifestyle' sections and have moved on, kind of warily to Channel 4. Obviously this channel is pretty infamous when it comes to stuff like 'the girl born without skin' and 'lets watch people have extreme surgery' but those I avoid like the plague, preferring people's lives and personalities to the inner workings of their digestive systems etc.

Recently, I've watched World's Strictest Parents, The Grandparent Diaries, Underage and Pregnant and My Child's Big Fat Birthday Party on BBC iPlayer, and I like to feel as if I have learnt something. The most shocking of these, in a way, was the birthday party one, because the mother was really excited about the party, whereas her 8-year-old son didn't want all of the fuss and thought that she had gone over the top spending £20,000 on the huge cowboy party when all he really wanted to do was play with his friends in the garden. I actually watched this the day after my birthday party and felt incredibly relieved that my parents had never tried to get me a unicorn, like the 12-year-old girl whose parents stuck a pointy cone on a horse for her party. They could have just gotten her a rhino.

And now I've watched two episodes of How The Other Half Live on Channel 4, guaranteed to make anyone weep uncontrollably at the sight of the little girl from the council estate hugging the little girl from the Sussex mansion and crying because they bought her a new bed. Or the look on the face of the boy who finally got his own bedroom thanks to the wealthy family from Kent.

There, I'm learning about poverty and family life and people and the issues facing society today. My life is like a P.S.H.E lesson without the condoms on bananas. This is clearly what happens to me when there is no school.

End Credits

My birthday was amazing, with thanks to...(in no particular order, other than with Jack obviously being first)

Jack the Twin
Mum
Dad
The Edinburgh Grandparents
The Welsh Grandparents who sent money
The Cousins who apparently sent money which has not arrived
The Assorted Aunts and Uncles
Alex
Laura
Jane
Elise
Zanny
Katie
Jess (who was there, but kept a low profile all evening)
The people who we ran into afterwards in Cross Keys
Kathryn next door who left a cake on the doorstep under a glass.
And everyone who wished me a happy birthday on Facebook.

Now, I've driven around corners while extremely tired I have no responsibilities for the rest of the day.

Street Party

Today my street had a party, and it was amazing.

I drank wine with nectarines in it out of a plastic Bug's Life cup.
Mya and I lost spectacularly to Leah and Kate at table football, and table tennis.
I helped a woman I had never spoken to before empty little stones out of a sandpit.
My grandparents made some friends down the road.
And I ended up not joining in the boys vs. girls waterfight because it turned out to be about 20 boys, all with weapons, and about 5 unarmed girls.

All in all a very good last official day of childhood, seeing as I spent most of my childhood doing crazy stuff with people in the street.

And it has taken me 2 episodes of Buffy, 3 episodes of Jane Eyre, 2 episodes of Bones and 1 episode of How I Met Your Mother, and an hour this morning to make my brother's birthday card and I am still not finished.

My Life Is Now Complete

For ages I have randomly had the words 'Gentlemen! This is a house of God!' in my head, and been unable to remember where the line comes from.

Well, just now I was making a birthday card for my brother while watching the 2006 BBC Jane Eyre and the vicar just said 'Gentlemen! This is a place of God!' (I misquoted) after Mr. Rochester tried to beat up his brother-in-law.

I yelled 'Yes, finally!' and now I can move on with my life.

Things I Learnt in Corfu

1. J'aime le breeze.

2. I don't actually burn that much so long as I apply regular suncream.

3. However mosquitoes are quite fond of me.

4. Never underestimate the power of the British plumbing system.

5. Zeus is an appropriate substitute for modern religion.

6. Alex knows a lot of facts about science. Well, I knew that before Corfu.

7. I might possibly have a recurrance of the old chesty-spluttery glandular fever cough.

8. I am incredibly excited about the book Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins coming out on 25th August. I got over my booktile dysfunction by skimming the final chapter of Catching Fire on the train on the way back and still retaining information.

9. I have very nice friends. Before Corfu I loathed and despised them all with a burning hatred, but now my opinion has changed after actually spending some time with them.

10. Lounging by or in the pool is the best part of any holiday.

Also, today I had to get up very early, both from coughing and because I had to go and have my first driving lesson. It was probably better than I expected, far less scary and the driving instructor was lovely although it was quite complicated. It turns out that I am short enough to have to drive sitting on a cushion, which the instructor keeps on the back seat for 'little people.' Therfore I am driving at approximately the same elevation as fairies and all seven dwarves, with the seat pushed right forward.

And now I can finally relax.

The Prom Post

I once, when I was about thirteen, bought a book of short stories at an airport called Prom Nights From Hell, for god knows what reason.

I never really read the book after the first story, in which a girl realised her friend's prom date was the reincarnation of Dracula, and skimming through, it just gets worse. In the next story, a girl wished to a fortune-teller that the boy she liked would ask her to prom, and then the boy spray painted 'Will you go to the prom with me?' on top of a watertower and fell and died.

In the next one, a girl is killed by the guy she goes out with to make her ex jealous. And then he turns out to have been the Grim Reaper himself. I genuinely could not work out what the next one was about, except it seems to include talking dolls and the immortal line "Drink a can of man!" The last one is by Stephenie Meyer in all her sparkly-vampire glory, and appears to be about some angels and demons who happen to be at the same random hell prom.

Needless to say, I am happy to report that NONE OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED last night. That I am aware of anyway. I had a very good time, despite the foot pain and ear ringing and lack of alcohol.

Also, sorry for spoiling a book that I'm sure everyone was desperate to read.